Saturday, October 22, 2016

Twaiku Time! - Blog Post #3

Lyric poetry is one of the most common forms of poetry we see in today's world. Many of the songs we listen to on a daily basis are good examples of lyric poetry, as they express the thoughts and feelings of a single speaker and are often emotionally charged. One popular type of lyric poetry is the haiku. Written in formal verse, the haiku follows a fixed pattern of three lines in the 5-7-5 format. The first line contains 5 syllables, the second line contains 7 syllables, and the third line goes back to 5 syllables. Haikus are often reflective and contain messages about nature or human experience. We are going to write our own haikus-- but with a modern twist! Introducing the twaiku! This poetic form combines the syllabic pattern of the traditional haiku style with the 140 character limit on Twitter. Think of something you saw or experienced that impacted you in some way. Did you see something beautiful in nature? Did you witness an extraordinary act of kindness? Did your best friend move away? Did you adopt a pet? Lose one? Turn that experience into a twaiku. Remember, you can clap out the syllables to a word to make sure it fits the pattern.

REQUIREMENTS:
1) Follow the 5-7-5 pattern of a traditional haiku
2) Use 140 characters or less
3) Your poem must be reflective on either nature or an emotional experience

Below are my examples:

217 comments:

  1. swaying like a swing
    moving as the wind comes up
    the grass is moving

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like your simile in the first line! Nice job, Lily, beautiful imagery.

      Delete
  2. Germany I played
    Moving from my home was hard
    new one i have found

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Moving is always difficult, even if you don't move but home moves away from you-- My parents no longer live here. Great job Gavin.

      Delete
  3. My name is Aubree
    I like to eat scrambled eggs.
    I have a dog, Max

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've got the syllable count down perfect, nice job there Aubree. Remember though, lyric poetry, and haikus in particular, should be reflective and emotional-- Think nature or personal experience!

      Delete

    2. REDO Aubree Ellis 3rd hour

      Raining on Friday
      Forced to be inside all day
      watch raindrops instead

      Delete
  4. The birds are chirping
    They dance and sing wildly
    Then they all drop dead

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice personification! Be careful, "wildly" might seem like three syllables at first but check how many "wild" has and then add one for "ly" - I counted 6 for that line. Super harsh ending! Very macabre, I like it. Nice job

      Delete
  5. Smell of salt water
    white sand hot under my feet
    a gleaming,pink shell

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is excellent Alex! I can almost see the beach you're describing-- sounds lovely.

      Delete
  6. My name is Aubree
    I just got a new saddle
    For my horse Bucky

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The syllable count in this is perfect, great job there. Remember, lyric poetry should emotional or reflective.

      Delete
    2. Flowers are pretty
      Pink,Blue,Purple,Orange,red
      Sun shines on flowers

      Delete
  7. you used and abused
    forever doesn't last long
    and now were apart

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is very well done Margo, you hit the nail on the head with the purpose of lyric poetry. If this is based off your personal experience, I can say I've been right there with you and feel your pain. Beautiful poem.

      Delete
  8. A looming shadow
    Slinking into the darkness
    I can’t see the light

    (I understand that this doesn't explain what I was feeling or what was going on too well, sorry about that. Let me explain, this is supposed to be about the death of a loved one and how badly it affected me emotionally afterwards. The 'I can't see the light' was supposed to express me being sad. I tried.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No explanation needed! That's the beauty of poetry-- it says what we often can't. I didn't even need to read your explanation to know this was reflecting on a dark time in your life, whatever that may be. I love your word choice with "slinking"-- connotation there is perfect. Nice job Sylvia

      Delete
  9. Falling from the tree,
    Red leaves falling to the ground,
    Brisk air fall is here

    ReplyDelete
  10. https://docs.google.com/a/mybedford.us/document/d/1EpBy0CfZWcoPva2zFRKM-Y4G1F9L_s95dQKo0iK3xkA/edit?usp=sharing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LaRiah, can you type out the actual poem as a comment? Links haven't been opening for me recently. Thank you!

      Delete
  11. Food is Wonderful
    finding it in cool places
    I eat it a lot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cold wind in the air
      Leaves are falling everywhere
      I adore Autumn

      Delete
    2. Do I even want to know these "cool places" you're randomly finding food...? Syllable count is perfect, but remember lyric poems should be reflective/emotional. Think nature or personal experience

      Delete
    3. NEW POEM
      BY JADEN TURNER

      Cold harsh winds in air
      Snowflakes are flying about
      I freezing to death

      Delete
  12. Sweatshirt is a song
    By Jacob Sartorius
    I can't live without

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And now I'm curious as to what makes this song so good.. great job here.

      Delete
  13. Under the surface
    The sea turtles swim freely
    Currents carry them

    ReplyDelete
  14. I really like food
    ramen noodles are the best
    eat food every day

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ramen noodles are about as gourmet as I get. Nice job with your syllable count, but remember lyric poems should be reflective and emotional-- Think nature or experience!

      Delete
    2. It comes over me
      The stress is attacking me
      Please help let me out

      Delete
  15. Basketball is fun
    It is my favorite sport
    I love it so much

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your syllable count is perfect, nice job! Remember lyric poems should be emotional. What about basketball makes you love it so much?

      Delete
    2. Basketball is great
      I love the intensity
      It is tough but fun

      Delete
  16. Running in the woods
    Breathing in the cold rough air
    Is this gonna end

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love the last line-- exactly how I feel anytime I run. Which is never. Good job Molly.

      Delete
  17. Some things can be weird
    They can be very random
    Refridgerator

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just like this twaiku... Lyric poems should be reflective and/or emotional-- make it personal somehow.

      Delete
  18. I went on a hike
    dad saw a bear far away
    It was cool to see

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better to see one far away than to see one digging in the dumpster outside of your work. Good job.

      Delete
  19. Running at full force
    The wind blowing at your face
    Running for Bedford

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is good, your syllable count is perfect and you made it personal. But how does running make you feel? Do you like it? Hate it? Personally, I can't stand it. My last line might be something like, "It's modern torture." Just food for thought!

      Delete
  20. Wind blows through the trees
    And the leaves are falling down
    Fall is arriving

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My favorite time of year! And apparently a lot of other people's too! Nice job, Alexis.

      Delete
  21. You need a good pass
    to the setter for a set
    so you can hit it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your form and syllable count is perfect. I'm assuming this is about volleyball? What about how it makes you feel? Do you love it? Let me see that-- Remember, lyric poems should be reflective and/or emotional.

      Delete
  22. https://docs.google.com/a/mybedford.us/document/d/1PR-2jcY2EVUr_PG5CbEIEK-fYiAikpIJsn7JBBkbx38/edit?usp=sharing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can you type this out as an actual comment? Links aren't working-- Thanks!

      Delete
    2. Cold air is coming
      Leaves falling down in the breeze
      Fall has arrived

      Delete
  23. Looking at the dogs,
    Was loneliness in their eyes,
    two dogs were now ours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That second line though!! "Was loneliness in their eyes" Powerful stuff, Natalie. I remember what it was like taking both my pups home from the pound. Nice job!

      Delete
  24. The full moon above
    Brings huge waves to the ocean
    And joy to the Sea

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really like your use of personification in the last line. Well done.

      Delete
  25. Back and forth swaying
    Trees rock in the gentle breeze
    They just keep swaying

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice job TJ-- You paint a beautiful picture here. Can you think of another word for "swaying" in the last line that provides the same image but isn't a repetition? Just food for thought!

      Delete
  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  27. City streets booming
    Tall skyscrapers are looming
    People are zooming

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really like your external rhyme in this and your word choice-- makes it feel very fast paced, much like a city! Good job.

      Delete
  28. Dance is a language
    It says much more than words can
    But it is silent

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is beautifully written!! You dance, I take it? I used to dance myself, lyric to be exact. Lyric dance and lyric poetry are both very similar-- lots of emotion! They both also tell a story without really telling a story. Great work.

      Delete
  29. My mind is confused
    It is very flammable
    Do not ignite it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You make excellent use of metaphor in your poem-- Very reflective! Great job.

      Delete
  30. Trees are turning red
    Ugg boots are back in season
    Fall makes me happy
    😊🍂🍁

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fall makes me happy too! :) Good job with your poem Caroline.

      Delete
  31. Drumming silently
    against the sleepy wood roof
    a sweet lullaby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow! You didn't even have to say rain and I knew you were talking about rain-- That's what we call imagery! Wonderful use of both personification and metaphor-- Really sets the tone. Excellent.

      Delete
  32. Happy turtles swimming
    I say Hi to a turtle
    He flaps his hand back

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So cute! I love turtles! Be careful though, haikus follow a 5-7-5 syllabic pattern-- I counted 6 in your first line. Is there another descriptive word you could use instead of happy that's only one syllable?

      Delete
    2. Happy turtles swim
      I say Hi to a turtle
      He flaps his hand back

      Delete
  33. Red, green, yellow leaves
    Swaying in the chilly breeze
    Fall has come to stay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice descriptive language! I like your use of the word "swaying" in the second line. Good job!

      Delete
  34. Youtube is my life
    Jacksepticeye, Markiplier
    I love all of them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your first and third lines are spot on with syllables, but I'm not sure about the second line. I counted 8? Also remember that lyric poems should be reflective and personal! YouTube channels are a fine subject if you feel strongly about them, but what about those two in particular make you love them so much? Do they connect to you on some level? Do they make you laugh, adding joy to your life? Let me feel what you feel!

      Delete
  35. Light will always come
    Don't give in to the darkness
    Just turn on the light

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true! Nice metaphor Kate, you did a great job.

      Delete
  36. They said don't go their
    I didn't listen to them
    I made a mistake

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've got me curious-- Go in where? Why was it a mistake? Be careful with your spelling-- "Their" is used in reference to another person whereas "there" is used for place.

      Delete
  37. I ran through the field,
    Rain kissing my face and hands,
    Refreshing the leaves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lovely! Very nice personification in the second line-- It gives a pleasant tone to the poem, letting your reader know that you don't mind the rain. I, for one, love it and love being in it. Good job, Lucy!

      Delete
  38. I hate salami
    Salami is so stanky
    You tear me apart

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your syllable count is perfect here, but remember that lyric poems should be emotional and personal somehow. I hate salami too, but it isn't meaningful enough of an emotion for me to write a poem about it.

      Delete
  39. The moon shines so bright
    The children give me a fright
    Its Halloween night

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice external rhyme! Seasonally appropriate, too. Good job.

      Delete
  40. Autumn is with us
    I see leaves fall to the ground
    And taste the donuts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apple cider cinnamon donuts are my fav! Nice job Morgan.

      Delete
  41. Cheese pizza great
    I cannot live without it
    Yeah, it is great mate

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheese pizza is great***
      I cannot live without it
      Yeah, it is great mate

      Delete
    2. You've got the syllable count down perfect Farah, but remember lyric poems should be reflective and emotional. They should connect to you personally on a deeper level than a slice of cheese za.

      Delete
  42. Fall is in the air
    Trees are turning fall colors
    City lights glow bright

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love that last line-- Gives a kind of magical feel to the poem. You did a great job, Kara. Is there another word you can think of other than "fall" to describe the colors? Bright? Many? Just food for thought!

      Delete
  43. On a silent pond...

    A frog jumps into the pond,

    Splash! Some more silence

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love this! Nice onomatopoeia in the last line-- It interrupts the scene briefly before things become tranquil again. Great job.

      Delete
  44. The water flying
    The fishes swimming to sea
    All under the sight

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Under the sight of what? You're spot on with your syllable count and your reflection of nature. Nice job.

      Delete
  45. Stunning and dazzling,
    Sensational, resplendent,
    Bright and engrossing

    (It's about the sun)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need to explain Braden! The beauty of poetry is that it explains through imagery for you-- Also it can be left up to interpretation. Maybe someone else will read it and think of snow! Excellent vocabulary-- "resplendent" is a 75 cent word for sure. Great job!

      Delete
  46. Sparkling like glass
    It's waters glitter and shine
    The lake-time has come

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent imagery and use of simile in your first line! Your word choice with "glitter" and "shine" really set the tone here-- Obviously the lake is a place you love. Be careful when counting syllables though-- "sparkling" only has two, which leaves you one short for that line. Try adding a descriptive word to that line right before glass to balance the syllabic pattern back out. Bright? Clear?

      Delete
  47. Feelings are like waves,
    We can’t stop them from coming
    But they’re there anyways

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great simile-- and very accurate! Just like waves, we have to let them wash over us completely before they retreat. Be careful with syllables though, your last line has one too many. Maybe try taking out "but" or rewording it slightly?

      Delete
    2. Feelings are like waves,
      We can’t stop them from coming
      they’re anyways there

      Delete
  48. There is a big tree
    A bird nest is sitting there
    In the warming sun

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice job here, I especially like your last line "in the warming sun." I can almost feel it! Lyric poems, and haikus in particular, are very often reflections on nature. But they also often have an emotional connection to them rather than just mere observation. How does this make you feel? Just food for thought!

      Delete
  49. Stress is a snowflake,
    Frigidly unforgiving,
    Followed by sorrow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wonderful Krista! Your use of metaphor is powerful-- I love the description of the snowflake as "frigidly unforgiving." Great word choice.

      Delete
  50. Refreshing and cool,
    love is a sweet summer rain
    that washes the world

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beautiful!! You implemented metaphor excellently and portrayed a very beautiful, and emotionally powerful, depiction of love.

      Delete
  51. Glistening so bright
    Fluttering down from the sky
    Oh how I love snow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lovely job, Julia! Your word choice with "fluttering" paints a very gentle and peaceful image-- Well done.

      Delete
  52. I see cool colors
    Orange, yellow, brown, and red
    Fall is upon us

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the colors are the best part of fall! Nature has a way of making everything, including death, look stunning. Nice job here!

      Delete
  53. Fall is in the air
    leaves around everywhere
    just feel the crisp breeze

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love your word choice of "crisp" to describe the breeze! Be careful though, "everywhere" is only 3 syllables not 4, so you're one short on that line. Can you think of another one syllable word to add to that line to balance it out?

      Delete
  54. Plush and green,
    Ball at my feet,
    Can I be any happier than this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've got the reflective/emotional part of lyric poetry down perfect! But remember, haikus follow the syllabic pattern of 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second, and 5 again in the last-- You've got 3-4-10. Try rewording it to get the pattern down correctly.

      Delete
    2. Soccer ball by feet,
      Magnificent green around me,
      Not ever any happier

      Delete
  55. The wind blows slowly,
    The leaves fall around my feet,
    November is here

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. November is one of my favorite months! I like your description of the wind-- Nice job!

      Delete
  56. Harambe was bae.
    Wish he was still here today.
    Dank memes for the win.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've got the syllable count down perfectly, but remember lyric poetry is supposed to be reflective and emotional. Think nature or personal experience. None of us knew Harambe personally (as much as we might wish we had) and even the dankest of memes don't actually impact us on a deep level.

      Delete
  57. It is Autumn time
    Leaves crumple beneath my feet
    Goodbye to summer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice word choice with "crumple"-- I like that description a lot! Good job, Mara.

      Delete
  58. That's an aspen tree
    Because that's the way it is
    Well how neat is that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have the syllable count down perfectly and your poem does include a natural aspect, but remember lyric poems should be reflective and/or emotional. Why did you choose an aspen tree? How does seeing that make you feel? Do you think it's pretty?

      Delete
  59. Hiking through the woods,
    Blisters and chafing on me,
    Finally reach peak

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great job here, Ian-- Your poem actually builds up somewhat, with the hard work of hiking (and the subsequent blisters & chafing) finally being rewarded at the peak.

      Delete
  60. Skating on and on,
    Stick has the puck on the blade,
    Buzzer rings, game won.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hockey has always been one of the most enjoyable sports to watch for me-- Especially because who doesn't like a good fight? Nice job.

      Delete
  61. Tyler Finley

    I hurt the QB
    He is crying to much now
    We have won the game

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your syllable count is perfect and your poem is a personal reflection, but be careful with spelling. You're looking for "too" as a description of amount. Think about how you could connect this even further-- How did winning the game make you feel? What is it about this game in particular that stands out to you? Just food for thought!

      Delete
  62. Riding on a horse,
    Walking around the arena,
    Starting to canter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your poem follows the pattern perfectly and is personal to you-- Nice work. Some food for thought: How can you deepen the meaning even further, though? What about equestrian do you love?

      Delete
  63. Walking through the woods,
    Knowing I would not make it,
    But there's the light

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds kind of spooky-- Is this based on an actual event? Make it where? Be careful with your syllable count in the last line-- Using the contraction "there's" puts it at only 4 syllables. Try undoing the contraction to hit 5. Overall, good job Derick.

      Delete
  64. The river flows soft
    The fish fly in the water
    Along with the waves

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice job, Cam! I like how your word choice of "flows" adds to the softness that you immediately reinforce.

      Delete
  65. flowers near flowers far
    smells of spring near and far
    spring has just began

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good job using nature in your poem, but be careful with your syllable count. A haiku should follow the 5-7-5 pattern-- Your first and second line both have 6.

      Delete
  66. In the woods they roam
    the wildlife is creeping
    They are living life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like your use of "roam" and "creeping"-- Makes the woods feel alive! Be careful with syllables though, "wildlife" is only two syllables so your second line is one short.

      Delete
  67. Beautiful sky full
    Clouds making wondrous shapes
    Time to relax alone

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beautiful imagery here, Ana. You did a nice job reflecting on nature. Be careful with syllables-- "wondrous" is only two so your second line is short. Your last line has six so it has one too many.

      Delete
  68. Hi there I like Pie
    Pie is a food and a number
    I talked about pie in this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lyric poetry should be reflective and/or emotional-- Think nature or personal experience. Pie, or any other food, doesn't quite fit the bill unless you can connect it somehow to how it has impacted your life in some way. Also, haikus follow a 5-7-5 syllable pattern. Your second line has 8 and your last line has 7.

      Delete
  69. The dark sky is grey
    Make my bad dreams go away
    The rain is falling

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice job, Nate! Definitely has an eerie vibe to it.

      Delete
  70. Basketball is great
    I play community ed
    Basketball is fun

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your syllable count is perfect, Elbriko. But how can you connect this more emotionally? Why do you love basketball? How do you feel when you're playing?

      Delete
  71. Wind blows on my skin
    Chilling my spine as I walk
    Winter is coming

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Chilling my spine"-- nice description, Kendall! Great job.

      Delete
  72. Gold leaves and cool breezes,
    Dark skies and wilting gardens,
    Autumn has arrived

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You simultaneously described the beauty of fall and the fact that it is nature's death in three lines-- Great job! Be careful though, your first line has 6 syllables. Maybe make "breezes" singular?

      Delete
  73. Nature is pretty,
    Nature is green,blue,and brown,
    Nature can be good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your syllable count is perfect and you included nature, which is great! How can you connect this to you personally, though? Give it some emotional context, rather than just description.

      Delete
  74. Life is good and bad
    Life is a rollar coaster
    It has ups and downs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice use of metaphor in the second line! Be more specific though, how has life been a roller coaster for you personally? Add some emotion to it.

      Delete
  75. Fall is pretty cool,
    It brings happiness and joy,
    it makes me happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your poem fits the pattern and includes nature, but make it more specific-- Either to people as a whole or to you personally. How does fall bring happiness and joy? What about it? The trees? The colors? The activities? The food?

      Delete
  76. The birds sing their songs,
    Flowers bloom and leaves grow green,
    Summer has arrived

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beautiful imagery! I especially like "leaves grow green" in the second line. Nice job.

      Delete
  77. Earth, water, fire, air.
    These are the four elements.
    They make up the Earth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like your first line a lot, a really cool poem could build off that. Think about lyric poetry's purpose though: to express the thoughts or feelings of a speaker. What about the elements do you like? Why did you choose that of all topics? Rather than just stating facts, connect it to you personally on some level.

      Delete
  78. The birds are chirping,
    They always fly in the sky,
    Birds are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice job with the syllable pattern and use of nature, but I think you can go further here. Connect this more specifically, either to you or to people. What about birds makes them beautiful? Why do you like them?

      Delete
    2. The birds are chirping,
      what wonder they bring to us,
      Soaring through the sky.

      Delete
  79. Sun peaks out from East,
    wind blows mysteriously,
    the woods are perfect

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love your use of personification in the first line, but be careful with spelling. If you're referring to the verb, it should be "peeks." The description of the wind blowing "mysteriously" is nice too, good job.

      Delete
  80. Lyrics are flowing,
    The beat is very soothing,
    Music is my life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice job! I like the description of the lyrics as "flowing" a lot!

      Delete
  81. Beautiful music
    The different types
    everywhere music

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How does the music make you feel? Or how does it make people in general feel? What about the different types? Be careful with your syllable count, it should be 5-7-5 but your second line is two syllables short.

      Delete
    2. Beat racing through me
      Pulsing through my heart and veins
      The flow of language

      Delete
  82. The dark sky are gray
    Summer is fading away
    Goodbye good old days

    ReplyDelete
  83. Trees dropping leaves down,
    Falling all around us all,
    Fall is upon us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice job here, but think about word choice. Is there another way you could word the second line to avoid repeating "all" twice? Just a thought!

      Delete
  84. Dinosaurs Roar Loud
    Running across open fields
    Crash they're all dead

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RIP dinos. Remember lyric poetry should be personal, its purpose is to express the thoughts and feelings of the speaker. It's often used to reflect on personal experience. I'm no math guru, but I'm pretty sure you weren't around when the dinosaurs were. Be careful with syllable count too, your last line only has four. You could undo the contraction of "they're" to make it 5.

      Delete
  85. Photosynthesis
    Flowers grow beautiful
    Due to this process

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love how you used all five syllables in one word! Be careful though, your second line only has 6 syllables. Can you think of a way to add more emotion or your thoughts to this? Just an idea!

      Delete
  86. summer is over
    schools back and we are back to
    school again again

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Remember, lyric poems are supposed to be reflective and thoughtful or emotional. How does being back to school make you feel? Your second and third lines repeat the same idea twice and using the word "again" twice to reach five syllables doesn't work-- We would sound silly if we spoke like that! What more can you add to this?

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  87. The river's rushing
    Water is white over rocks
    Waterfall at end

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    1. Nice use of imagery and descriptive language here-- sounds like a beautiful place!

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  88. A new friend was near
    Sitting on the back porch here
    Kitten's eyes appear

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  89. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  90. Flowers are blooming
    Rainbow colors paint the ground
    Red,Yellow,and Blue

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  91. My biggest fear is
    That he will never come back
    That he's gone for good

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  92. Climb up the mountain
    Boulders tumbling at me
    Finally Reach Peak

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  93. The waves crash the shore
    Seagulls flying everywhere
    People everywhere

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  94. Cats, running, meowing
    Chasing Mice, eating much grass
    Playing, played, sleep

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  95. The trees will age and die
    Very Similar to I
    Watch our time go by.

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  96. In the dark nights sky,
    Under the unknown darkness,
    Is something not known,

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  97. The man in the moon
    He looks down on us and frowns
    A sickening place

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  98. Home is not a place
    It is the people near you
    My home, far away

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